What About Me?
by syemantha
Summary: Olivia barely had time to register what he had said before he kissed her... Rated T for later chapters.
1. It's Been A While

Chapter 1- It's Been A While

It was a sunny, crisp afternoon at the SVU precinct. There were no new cases and Olivia and Elliot were stuck at their desks doing paperwork. Elliot glanced at his watch and saw that it read 5:00pm. His gaze shifted to look at Olivia, who was sitting directly across from him. He took a moment to admire his partner, who today had chosen a dark, wine red shirt and jeans that hugged her in all the right places.

"Hey," he said, causing Olivia to look up. "You want to get out of here and go grab a bite to eat?"

Olivia was surprised. They hadn't spent much time together outside of work recently since Kathy had become rather possessive of her husband. Olivia had been sad by the change, but understood that Elliot needed to be with his family. But, not willing to give up an evening with Elliot, Olivia replied, "Sure, but why don't we just get some take-out and hang out at my place? I don't feel like going out anywhere tonight."

"Sure, no problem. Let me just finish up this report and we can head out."

Half an hour later, Elliot and Olivia had picked up some Chinese food, and were headed back to her apartment. Their conversation was easy and light-hearted. They were even laughing more than they used to. The heavy topics from work had fallen away, and all was left were two best friends enjoying each other's company. When they arrived, Elliot grabbed the bags and followed Olivia up to her apartment. As they entered, Elliot glanced around.

"It's been a while since I've been here." He noticed not much had changed. There were a couple new pictures sprinkled around the room. None of them showed a new guy or boyfriend. _Good_, he thought, breathing an internal sigh of relief. As he looked closer, he saw that a lot of the pictures were of Olivia and himself.

"I like this one." He said, picking up a picture of the two of them at last year's Christmas party. They were both looking at each other, his arms wrapped around her and hers pushing gently against his chest. She was laughing as he smeared icing on the tip of her nose.

Olivia walked over to look at the picture. Seeing it, she smiled, "Yeah, Cragen gave it to me as a Christmas gift. He said he thought I might like it."

"Good times," said Elliot, "You know you looked beautiful that night."

Olivia quickly blushed and looked away. "Umm, thanks El." She changed the subject, "Come on, let's eat before the food gets cold."

Elliot let the topic drop for the time being and walked over to the table to make himself a plate. They both plopped down on the couch to watch TV as they ate. They were sitting much closer than they usually did, almost touching at the hips. Olivia had her feet curled up under her and Elliot's were stretched leisurely out onto the coffee table in front of him. His arm rested on the back of the couch, behind her shoulders. They watched nothing in particular, instead enjoying the same easy conversation they'd had in the car.

When they had finished, Olivia got up, and took Elliot's plate. She walked them over to the kitchen calling over shoulder, "I'm making coffee, you want some?"

"Yeah" he called back, watching her as she walked away. "You need any help?"

"No, I'm good," he heard her reply from the kitchen as he turned his attention back to the TV. A minute later, realizing sitting on the couch watching TV without her was no fun, he decided to join Olivia in the kitchen. He found her with her back to him, in front of an open freezer.

Hearing him enter, she turned with two carton of ice cream in her hands. "Look what I found," she said smiling, "Chocolate or strawberry?"

"How about both?"

"Just what I was thinking," she shot back with a quick smile. They scooped the ice cream, electing to eat at the kitchen counter while they waited for the coffee to finish brewing. When that was done, they took their cups back to the couch where they resumed their previous, comfortable positions next to each other. They drank their coffee leisurely, both relishing the time they were spending together. Olivia was the first to move. She let her head fall back, and found herself resting against Elliot's arm. When he didn't move, she decided to let her head stay there.

"You know I've missed this," she said suddenly.

"Missed what?" he asked, turning his head to look at her.

"You know, just us hanging out. We hardly see each other outside of work anymore. It's nice to be able to relax a bit, and not have to worry about a case, or paperwork or whatever."

"Yeah, it is," he replied quietly. He thought back to the last time they'd spent time together like this. It had been months ago. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed seeing her like this, outside the worries and stresses of the office. Kathy had been insistent that they spend every minute he had outside of work together. But that was different now.

"I'm sorry about Kathy," he continued, "she was really jealous about all the time we were spending together at work." Olivia picked up on his use of _was_ instead of _is_, but decided not to comment on it.

"Well, I'm glad she decided to let you go for tonight, El." Olivia said, not venturing to ask about the sudden change of heart.

"Yeah, me too" he replied honestly, though he quickly dropped his gaze afterward. He wanted to tell her something, but still felt that this wasn't the right time. In fact, the whole reason he'd asked to her to dinner was to tell her something important. But, he was still working up the courage to say it.


	2. I Should Tell You

What About Me?

Chapter 2- I Should Tell You

An hour later, the clock read 11:00 and feeling that Olivia might want to be getting to bed, Elliot said, "Hey, it's late. Maybe I should get going."

Olivia, who had been thoroughly enjoying his company, was saddened by the sudden announcement, and said with a little melancholy in her voice, "Oh, ok then." They both got up and she walked him to the door. Elliot lingered at the doorway, leaning against the threshold. Olivia rested against the door, standing at a close, but not uncomfortable, proximity to him.

"Thanks, Liv," he said with a smile, "it was nice catching up."

"Yeah, we should do it again, soon," she added, placing emphasis on the last word. She didn't want months to pass before she got this chance to spend time with him again.

Elliot hesitated, his smile faded from his lips. He realized he should turn and go, but he couldn't. Not before he told her what he had wanted to say all night.

Olivia noticed his change in demeanor. He looked nervous all of a sudden. She became worried. "El? Are you ok? What's wrong?" He didn't say anything, only dropped his gaze to stare at the floor. "Is it Kathy?" she pressed, "Is she going to be mad that you stayed so long? I'm so sorry El, I should have let you go sooner, I…"

"No," he interrupted her, "It's nothing like that."

"Oh," she said, still worried, but also confused. "Then what's the matter?" He shifted his gaze to stare at the door she was leaning on, refusing to look at her face. Still, he said nothing. "Talk to me El," she implored, "Let me help you." He looked up at her, pain in his eyes.

"I'm leaving SVU," he said finally, looking at her desperately, waiting for her reaction.

Olivia felt her heart skip a beat and felt the color draining from her face. _No_, she thought, _this isn't happening. He wouldn't leave me like that…_ She now clung to the door for support. Despite the initial shock, she managed to weakly choke out "W-What?"

"I'm…I'm sorry, Liv. I'm handing in my request for a transfer to Cragen tomorrow morning." Elliot was still desperately searching her face, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

"But why?" she asked, tears starting to form in her eyes.

Elliot swallowed hard. "Kathy and I are getting divorced. If I want partial custody of the kids, then I have to transfer out of SVU. The lawyer said that the long hours and dangerous work environment make me a poor candidate for custody otherwise." Now it was Olivia's turn to drop her eyes, trying to hide to tears that were starting to trail down her face.

"Please, Liv. Please understand that I don't have a choice," Elliot begged, the desperation now clear in his voice.

"Yeah, El. I understand. You have to do this for your kids." She raised her eyes again, tears now shining clearly in them. She said that she understood, but her face was clearly echoing the question she had asked him years ago, after the Gitano case. _What about me?_ She didn't dare ask him. She couldn't ask him to leave his kids for her. No matter how badly she wanted to, she wouldn't ask him to make that choice.

All she wanted was to close the door so she could run to her bedroom and cry her heart out. He was leaving SVU. He was leaving her. The fact that he said he was getting a divorce barely registered in her conscience. She loved him. She had loved him all those years he had watched her back and she had watched his. But now he was leaving, and she could never tell him how much she meant to her.

"Goodnight, El," she whispered, closing the door.

"Wait." Elliot held the door open. "There's something else I should tell you."

_No, please Elliot_. She begged silently. _I can't handle any more bad news tonight._. She looked deeply into his stunning clear blue eyes, trying to prepare herself for yet another unsustainable blow. The hurt was etched clearly on her face. But she waited for him continue.

Elliot was nervous again. But his resolve was clear. "Just do me a favor and hold still for a second."

Olivia barely had time to register what he had said before he kissed her. His lips were on hers and his arms were wrapped tightly around her waist. The kiss was fierce and insistent, pouring years of tension and desire into that one passionate moment. Olivia was shocked, and her eyes only had time to flutter closed before it ended. As quickly as it had begun, it was over. He left one last gentle, lingering kiss on her lips before he pulled back slowly.

"Goodnight, Liv. I'm sorry." Elliot turned to leave.

"Elliot…" Olivia put a hand on his should and turned him to face her again. They eyes met for an instant and she pulled him close. She crashed her lips to his in a breathtaking kiss. Her arms snaked around his neck as he brought his to wrap around her waist. His tongue traced her bottom lip, begging for admittance, which she readily granted. Her fingers toyed with his hair as he pulled her flush against him, intensifying the kiss. When breathing became a necessity, she pulled back, but only far enough to lean her forehead against his. Their noses were touching.

"You said there's something else you wanted tell me?" Olivia asked, smiling.

"Yeah," he breathed back, "I love you." With that, he kissed her again, only this time gently, savoring the feel of her soft lips moving with his. He released her again, still holding her close.

"That's another reason why I'm leaving. So I can finally have you," he said, "That is, it you'll have me." His signature Stabler grin was stretched across his face.

"Hmm….let me think," Olivia replied, punctuating the thought with a gentle kiss.

"I guess a better question would be," he ventured again, "…do you love me?"

Olivia laughed quietly and brought her lips within millimeters of his. "Stabler," she whispered, "You have no idea." With that, she closed the gap between them and kissed him into oblivion.

**Please R&R! Comments would be very much appreciated!**


	3. Stay

**Chapter 3- Stay**

"Stay," Olivia whispered softly, taking a moment to gently nibble his ear lobe. She continued kissing along his jaw line, running her hands in light circles on his back.

Elliot was having trouble focusing. His hands gripped her waist tightly as he tried to maintain some semblance of control. He attempted to clear his head and answer her somewhat coherently. "Trust me, there's nothing I want more than to stay here tonight, with you. But are you sure you want to do this? I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for." _I can't risk losing you if this isn't really what you want_, he thought to himself, _you mean too much to me to lose you like that_.

Olivia's lips traveled down his neckline. "I said…_stay_," she whispered seductively. Her hands wandered around to his front, repeating their ministrations on his chest. She pressed herself firmly against him, backing him into the wall. "Don't tell me you're going to start disobeying orders now, El." She kissed him again.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he said with a playful tone, more than happy to grant her request. Elliot smiled, moving a hand to wrap tightly around her waist. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head gently to look at him. He stared into her warm hazelnut eyes, now dilated with arousal_. I could spend an eternity looking into those beautiful eyes_, he thought. Countless times they had looked at him, comforted him and consoled him when he needed it. He realized that there were no eyes he'd rather see every day for the rest of his life, than hers.

Her soft voice broke his reverie. "Kiss me Elliot," she said simply. Then, without hesitation, he captured her lips with his, kissing her with all the passion he'd hidden from her for 12 years. _Her lips are so soft_ he thought as he relished the taste of her. As he ran his tongue along hers, he thought he tasted a hint of strawberry still lingering there. His hand wandered from her chin, around her neck to entwine his fingers in her long brown hair.

Suddenly, Olivia pulled away from him. She eyed him with a seductive stare, "Let's move this inside, shall we?" She grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him from the wall back into her apartment. Elliot gladly followed, closing the door behind them. She turned from him, starting to walk towards the bedroom, swaying her hips slightly as she did so.

He grabbed her by the waist and spun her around, pushing her against the door. Olivia let out a small gasp as she hit the hard wood. She looked up at Elliot with an amused smile. He slid his hands down her arms and pulled them up above her head, pinning her by the wrists. He leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "Where do you think you're going, Detective?" He leant down, kissing her lightly behind her ear. He feathered her with a trail of light kisses down her neck line, causing Olivia to release a quiet moan. He nuzzled into the crook of her neck, nipping lightly at the skin he found there. _God, she smells amazing too, _he thought as he inhaled her light scent. He worked his way back up to her mouth and kissed her intensely.

_Wow, he's a great kisser_, Olivia thought, responding to his kiss with equal passion. _I've been missing out all these years_. Her arms were still pinned above her head. She wanted to let he hands roam, to feel the strong muscles of his arms and back underneath her fingers. But, she knew she was nowhere near strong enough to pull her arms from his grasp. _Alright then El, it's my turn now_. She drew her leg up the side of his, raising it to wrap tightly around his waist. She drew him closer, closing the gap between them. They fit perfectly together.

Elliot groaned as she pressed against him. Olivia took advantage of the momentary lapse in his grip to release her arms and wrap them around his neck. Elliot smiled against her lips, "You little fox. Come here, you." Not to be outdone, he wound his arms around her waist, lifting her up, pulling her other leg around his waist as well. He carried her to a coffee table behind the couch where he placed her down gently.

"Come here, El," she invited, drawing him closer as he kissed her again. His hands slid under her shirt to rub lightly against her back. She moaned against him, savoring the feel of his skin on hers. Olivia slid her hand around to his front, toying with his collar. Her fingers gently stroked the soft skin by his neckline. She began unbuttoning his shirt. Her expert fingers quickly undid the buttons, exposing a muscular chest. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders, letting her hands trail lightly down his back. She then moved her hands to the hem of her own shirt. Elliot place his hands over hers, stopping her. "Allow me," he offered with a grin, and proceeded to pull her shirt over her head, revealing a black lace bra underneath. Elliot's eyes widened as he took her in.

"Like what you see, El?" she asked in a low voice.

"You have _no_ idea," he answered, echoing her words from earlier. "You're beautiful Liv." He looked momentarily speechless.

Smiling, Olivia pulled him close again for a kiss. Elliot's hands caressed the soft skin of her back, moving up to lightly massage her shoulders. She gasped lightly at the sensation, feeling his hands work wonders on her tight muscles. He drew back slowly, offering her his hand to help her off the table. As she took it, he pulled quickly, pulling her flush against him and greeted her with another passionate kiss.

When breathing became an issue, Olivia pulled away slowly. She walked back, pulling Elliot by the hand with her towards her bedroom. Elliot grinned and followed her. She left him at the doorway, turning away from him to walk towards the bed. He stood by the threshold, watching her closely. She lay down on the bed facing him, propping herself up by her elbows. She looked absolutely stunning. "Come here Elliot," she said in her lowest, most seductive voice. Elliot swallowed hard. He slowly approached the woman waiting on the bed, closing the door behind him.

**What do you think? Should I continue to the next morning? Please review!**


	4. One Last Case

**Chapter 4- One Last Case**

Olivia's eyes opened slowly, the sleep still heavy on her lids. She took a moment to breathe deeply, nuzzling into her pillow. Elliot's arm had snaked around her waist holding her close. She felt his protective hold keeping her back pressed tightly against his chest. She reveled in the feeling of waking up in his arms, his deep breathing tickling her neck lightly as he continued to sleep. Olivia let her eyes drift close again, enjoying the quiet moment.

Her alarm suddenly went off, signaling the start of another busy day. Elliot stirred slightly, though never relinquishing his hold on her. Olivia reached up to hit snooze. She chuckled lightly when she felt Elliot's grip tighten against her waist. He nuzzled into her neck, kissing her shoulder.

"Good morning," he breathed lightly, his thumb now tracing light circles against her stomach.

Olivia smiled. "Good Morning," she replied lazily, turning to face him. Her arm reached across his stomach as her head came to rest on his chest. She could heart his heart beating steadily. Elliot kissed her forehead, his fingers stroking her back gently.

"I don't want to get up," he whispered into her hair.

Olivia sighed into his chest, eyes still closed, "Me either." They lay quiet for a moment. "We have to go to work, El."

He groaned. "I don't want to go to work."

Olivia laughed, "Well, that's a first."

"I have more…_enjoyable_ endeavors I'd like to be pursuing at the moment." He kissed her again. She giggled softly. "Besides, half the reason I go to work is to see you. And I have you right here, with me."

Olivia looked up at him, surprised at his admission. She propped herself up on her elbow, leaning in to kiss him. It was a gentle kiss, soft and sweet. She lingered a moment by his lips before she settled herself against him again.

"You know we'd be there together right?"

"Yes. But somehow I think our current location is infinitely more enjoyable than the office."

"Mmmm…" she sighed, kissing his chest, "Very true." She snuggled closer to him. "But we still have to go to work. We have an open case, remember?"

Elliot sighed. It wasn't an urgent case, but still one that needed solving nonetheless. "Fine, we'll go in. You owe me though."

Olivia sat up, pulling the sheet around her. "Trust me El, we're out of there at 5:00 sharp today." She leaned into whisper, "And don't worry, I'll make it up to you. We can pick up where we left off last night."

"Good." Elliot pulled her in for one last lingering kiss.

"I call shower first," Olivia said, pulling away.

"Fine, I'll start some coffee."

"Sounds perfect." Olivia stood up and wrapped the sheet around her, leaving Elliot lying alone on the bed. She turned and walked into the bathroom, Elliot's gaze following her as she went.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Olivia walked into the kitchen to find Elliot finishing up some scrambled eggs and toast.<p>

"Breakfast?" he offered. Olivia grabbed a plate, smiling. "Smells great, El."

"Good." He placed a quick kiss on her cheek. "Eat up," he said; walking towards the bathroom, "I'll be right back."

Olivia sat down and ate while she waited. As she settled down with her coffee and newspaper, she heard Elliot's singing coming from the bathroom. _Hmm, he's not half bad_, she thought amusedly.

When they had both showered and eaten, they headed out together. The traffic was good and they arrived at the station in less than 15 minutes. As they stepped off the elevator into the precinct, Munch looked up at them. "What, now you two are coming in together in the morning too?"

"Good morning to you too Munch," said Elliot sarcastically.

"We just ran into each other downstairs, that's all," Olivia lied smoothly as she sat down at her desk.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what happened," he replied, only half-jokingly, turning his attention back to his work.

"Alright, "Elliot said quietly to his partner, "I'm going to go talk to the Captain." His tone was somber as he looked at her with sad gaze.

Olivia looked up at him with pain in her eyes. She swallowed hard and nodded. "Ok." Elliot gave her a quick squeeze of the hand before he turned and walked toward Cragen's office. Olivia saw Elliot knock on the door twice and the Captain invite him in.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Captain," Elliot said, knocking on the door, "You have a minute?"<p>

Cragen waved him in, "Yeah, sure. What's on your mind?"

Elliot handed him a sheet of paper. He stood across the desk from the captain, hands in his pockets with his eyes cast down at the ground.

The Captain looked up. "Elliot, this is a request for transfer," he said surprised.

"I know." Elliot's voice was steeled, trying to hide all traces of emotion. He shifted uncomfortably.

"What do you mean by this?" Cragen asked.

"I'm resigning Captain."

"I can see that, but what I don't understand is, why?"

Elliot cleared his throat. "Kathy and I are getting a divorce."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Elliot.," Cragen said, his tone sincere. He waited for Elliot to continue.

"My lawyer says that if I want partial custody of the kids…" Elliot paused, "I have to transfer out of SVU. He says what with the long hours, and the dangerous conditions…" He trailed off, not needing to continue.

Cragen put the letter down. "Does Olivia know?"

"Yeah, I told her last night."

"How is she taking it?"

Elliot looked out the office at his partner. She was sitting at her desk, typing. "She's…she's taking it hard. But she understands why I have to do this."

Cragen breathed a hard sigh. "I'm sorry to be losing you Elliot. You're a good detective and a good man. But sometimes a man has to make hard choices for his family. It's been an honor working with you."

"Thank you, Captain."

"Tell you what, why don't you finish out this last case. I'll put in for your transfer in the meanwhile. Once you and Olivia finish up, then we can worry about moving you."

Elliot nodded, turning to leave. "Thanks again, Cap, for everything." He opened the door of the office and walked out.

* * *

><p>Olivia looked up as Elliot exited the office. He nodded in the direction of the cribs, asking her to meet him there. She got up and followed him. Once they were there, Elliot closed the door behind him. Olivia leaned up against one of the bunks and waited for him to speak.<p>

"Cragen said I could finish out this case before I have to transfer," he said quietly.

Olivia looked at the floor and nodded. "Ok."

"Come here," Elliot said gently. Olivia walked over slowly into Elliot's open arms. He wrapped her in a warm embrace. He stroked her hair softly. Olivia held him tightly, breathing in his comforting scent. "I'm sorry, Liv. I'm sorry."

A single tear trailed down her face. "One last case," she said.

Elliot held her close. "One last case."

**One more chapter to go! Please R&R…reviews would be lovely. **


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